STATES OF HSL UNDRESS

audio: "cowgirl." (live) underworld.

(this is partially inspired by what Lise has said, but also partially just because...)

a few points:

firstly, i don't believe that anything i like makes me unique or different in any way, necessarily. it's quite likely that i used to harbour such fantasies as an Angsty Teenager...but then again, i'm sure most people in general who claim any degree of self-awareness can relate to that on some level---with varying degrees of specificity.

if anything makes me different from anyone else in any way---as with anything that does so for ANYONE---it's in how i take whatever i construct my world with and allow it to inform me and move me in everyday life. whether it's music, or animation, or film, or writing, or drawing, or painting---what it specifically might be does not matter in the slightest. who it is does.

with that in mind, Fiona makes a good point about the idea that it's much easier to latch onto (a) human being(s) behind something rather than what it is that makes you feel a certain way about it. whether it be a piece of music (popular, classical, sacred, what have you), a film, a work of art, or just about anything else does not matter...in any case, it's HARD to put just how something makes you FEEL into words. ESPECIALLY if whatever it is has made you feel incredibly strongly. most of the time, you need somewhere to go with this profound welling of emotion that _____ has inspired in you, so it's skipping merrily off to fangirling that many choose as their medium.

to this point, i would like to add that i personally feel that this is not something that is common only to people who profess to like music. to me, this seems to have common counterparts in ANY particular area where people congregate and become "fans." manga and anime, for instance...there are certainly plenty of things one can comment on and debate about and appreciate or choose not to that are technical in nature. a mangaka's drawing style; the particular voice actor or actress chosen to represent a character and/or how that person chose to represent that character at a given point in time; someone's ability or lack thereof in drawing decent backgrounds and/or writing decent plot and/or...the list goes on and on, endlessly. there's LOADS that can be discussed virtually into the ground regarding comparatively technical aspects. the same can be said of writing, and of films, and probably of just about anything else that exists which has fans of any sort.

and while it's true that there's plenty of this that can be discussed about music as well...a lot of times, it's more difficult, for many reasons. for one (and this may well be a societal thing), it's been my experience that a lot of people seem to view it as beyond them...the idea that anyone could really pick up an instrument and, if said person were to set his or her mind to it, PLAY it seems daunting. (which is why the true ethos of "punk" must never be allowed to die, but i'm digressing.) sure, a lot of people had lessons in one instrument or another as children. this doesn't necessarily translate into great technical knowledge of how music is created once that person has grown older. and even if it does...having technical knowledge can't make that person feel anything about the music, necessarily. there are people who have great and astounding technical knowledge and ability who are incredibly cold executors of music. possessing the heart of music is something indefinable.

plus, there are a lot of people who make music who may not necessarily have that technical knowledge. same goes for fans...so how do you talk about it if you don't have that technical knowledge to begin with? it becomes almost as difficult to discuss as discussing how something makes someone feel, and in both cases, it's because that someone lacks the proper vocabulary to do so. which doesn't have to be a deficiency on that person's part unless they let it---and most of the time, it seems they don't. they instead find some other means with which to express themselves.

with words, this doesn't tend to be as much of a problem. not everyone is taught to read music as a child...but most people are taught to read and write, and most of the people who read and write blogs that have any sort of audience seem to have mastered some degree of both. therefore, writing? technical aspects of writing become far easier to discuss. this is knowledge that most people have...and therefore, i would posit that this is one reason why it's less prone to the sort of fangirling that people often indulge in over musicians, particularly of the "pop" variety. it's much more universal that someone's going to know what you're talking about if you discuss English grammatical structure than if you discuss detuning your guitar.

another reason may well be visibility. i think perhaps a slight bit of perversity might play a role in the New Order fangirl, because they as a band specifically had gone out of their way (or at least made everyone BELIEVE that they'd gone out of their way, which is another debate entirely) to NOT have a "band image." this is why it wasn't until their third album that any photos of the band were associated with their work...they chose to remain faceless, and because the press were asking questions which they didn't want to answer...they weren't doing interviews (or having the requisite accompanying photo shoots) done, either. and even past that point, though photos were eventually made public...they still made it clear that they had no set "image." which is not a bad idea, considering that most "pop musicians" do have a specific image that's associated with them and is often detrimental if they decide to change that image...cos as we all know, many people don't adapt well to change.

and in having that image, aside from any superficial admiration you might have for them, it's easier to associate them with being an actual human being rather than some abstract construct. this isn't the same for most mangaka, for instance. or many filmmakers, unless you specifically seek out that sort of imagery...or many other sorts of artists, really. there's not the same sort of emphasis on image for people to associate those sorts of artists' human aspects with. therefore, ways in which the types of fandom might deviate from one another.

even then, though...that doesn't necessarily stop someone. all the rabid voice actor/actress fans can attest to that. (and granted, with some of the more popular and well-known ones, it's quite easy to find pictures. but that's mostly due to the rabid fans who've painstakingly gone and searched these out and put shrines together for the objects of their affection...not because these were particularly well publicised in the first place.) but even (and especially) if you've never gotten a concrete image of the artist who one claims as the object of one's infatuation, no matter what the fandom...it's usually because of one thing: one's admiration for that artist's work. and more importantly, the way that that artist's work made that person FEEL. might be someone's voice, and the way they choose to use it. might be the incredibly delicate and unbelievable ways in which a particular mangaka uses their pen. might be particularly creative use of Zip-A-Tone. whatever it is...it's obviously given rise to some sort of swelling of emotion, and it's got to come out somehow.

so while some people (including myself, sometimes) may indeed fangirl about the people behind whatever music it is that's moving me at the moment...how is this different from waxing rhapsodic about a particular voice actor/actress or a particular mangaka? you may be idly proclaiming love for that person and/or having good fun at your co-fangirls' expense, and/or about a zillion other things...but ultimately, most people that i know and respect don't really take themselves and/or each other very seriously when doing such things. cos it's just...silly. all of it. of course, how these things make you feel is not. but really, going on about how you love someone you don't know and have zero likelihood of ever knowing...how seriously can you take yourself? hopefully not very.

my main point is, i believe there's certain areas of commonality across the borders of all the many and various types of "fandom" that there are. and being someone who considers herself a "fan" of many and various things...i categorically refuse to state that "i'll never blog about _____," because i don't know that.

there's plenty of stuff people write about in blogs that i read regularly that i have no interest in. and that's fine, and to be expected...cos really, no one's going to be EXACTLY the sort of fan i am about EXACTLY all the same sorts of stuff i am...unless they're me. and frankly, i'd be creeped out if i ran into another me blogging in the same fashion somewhere. sometimes i read cos i like someone's writing style, or am interested in what they've got to say even though i might not have much to relate to that person. i have lots of reasons i might choose to read or not read something, and lots of reasons i might choose to blog or not blog about something. and while there's an audience in there somewhere, as a blog is, indeed, a wanktastic adventure in public...i maintain, as i always have, that i'll blog about whatever i feel like, whenever i feel like. much as this may be a public forum, and much as i do appreciate and respect the idea that people do choose to read whatever words i might've spilled all over my keyboard...it is primarily a selfish thing. i'd be kidding myself if i claimed otherwise.

(that being said, HSL now returns you to your regularly scheduled random spastic silliness. XD)